Games We Play
by KSUnsungHero
Summary: They kept going round and round and neither he nor she knew how to make it stop. The game would go on and on until someone ended it.
1. Chapter 1

**_Sometimes the things I say_**

**_In moments of disarray_**

**_Succumbing to the games we play_**

**_To make sure that it's real_**

The squad room was bustling by the time Olivia walked over to her desk. The power had gone out at her building and Elliot had called her to see where she was. After a brief shower, she'd thrown on her clothes and headed out the door to what was already a great start to her day. She had a feeling her whole day was going to be that way.

The previous day had been spent looking all over the city for a child molester that had multiple people on the inside telling him where the cops were looking. It was like a cat and mouse game, and the only they seemed to be catching was their tails. After hitting a brick wall, they had finally stopped for the day at eleven o'clock and headed back to finish paperwork that had been neglected. Not to mention they'd been working so many days straight they couldn't remember the last day off they'd had. It reminded her of when she was a kid.

Growing up, Olivia didn't have many friends. Her mother wouldn't allow her the luxury of having guests over. That didn't bother Serena Benson's little problem child, though. To her, Olivia was just in the way and having a friend over meant she had just one more obstacle to her vodka. Olivia had the little time she had with her few friends at their homes. One rare spring break week, she had been fortunate enough to spend the time with a friend in third grade. The two girls spent all week together and by the third day, they were at each other's throats. So much time together for two kids had been enough to make them irritable. Her situation with Elliot was no different.

The previous week, Olivia and Elliot had been their usual selves. As the days progressed, though, things had gone downhill. Rude comments and snide remarks were followed by glares and angry looks. If they didn't get a decent night's rest and a couple days off, who knows what would happen? They were great partners and good friends. Things were slowly getting back on track after their brief separation, but the hard cases still got to them. Rather than vent their pent-up frustration, they held it in and it came out all at once. On more than one occasion, the squad room had been privy to such arguments. It was usually a few digs at each other's character. Words that didn't need to be said that came from nowhere were voiced. They didn't usually mean the things they said in these heated moments, but they weren't the kind of people who could handle stress. They had no one but themselves to talk to about what they were feeling and often times they were dealing with their own issues to go to each other.

Everyone knew it was coming. Fin and Munch had seen the start of it and had tried to deflect the anger onto other things. The gym could only work for so long, though, and when they'd gone out onto the streets, God help anyone who crossed them.

Olivia noticed Elliot sitting in his chair with his suit jacket on and a cup of coffee. He was tapping his foot and looking at his wrist watch, she imagined, for at least the tenth time since he'd called her forty-five minutes ago. She mumbled an apology and saw a mere nod before he got up. She didn't want to risk getting a cup of coffee, although the caffeine would be just what she needed to calm her nerves. She'd just have to deal. She didn't want to make things worse on what was already a shitty day. She followed him out of the precinct a few steps behind. His posture was stiff and she could tell he was tense. Her being late didn't help things. She wondered if something was going on in his personal life. It could be just the case, but she couldn't be sure. Lately it seemed that anything could be chalked up to a case here or there.

Olivia had let her mind wander and realized Elliot was already in the car and ready to go. She jogged up to the car and got in before latching her seat belt. She rolled down the window a crack to let the hot air escape. It was only nine thirty and the head index was already eighty-five. She pulled her hair behind her ear and huffed. She'd never gotten used to the sweltering heat. The glass and granite buildings of the city only made it worse. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot flipping the knobs of the air conditioner; her silent cue to roll the window back up.

"Where to first? I was thinking we'd stop by and check out the old warehouse where the perp was last seen. Maybe he's hiding out there." She scanned her notes as he drove. She didn't have time in the precinct and she felt as if she was studying for a test. She hated not being prepared.

"You think he'd still be there? He's been ten steps ahead of us this whole time. Nah, I think he'd be long gone." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and looked over at Olivia. She seemed more tired than usual. He'd be willing to bet a month's salary that she'd gotten next to no sleep the night before.

He felt bad for acting so childish these last few days. He'd been angry with her and wasn't even sure why. He'd seen his kids over the weekend after work and it had done wonders for his mood. He couldn't pinpoint why he was lashing out at Olivia. They both were picking at each other, though. Her comments were mainly in defense against what he'd been dishing out. Sometimes he couldn't help it. His emotions were all over the place. It wasn't her fault he didn't know how to deal with them. He'd blamed her for her apartment losing electricity. He should have let her off the hook but he hadn't said a word. Like so many things between them often left unsaid, he failed to utter the words that would make it okay. He'd just assumed it went away. If only the hurtful things he said could be erased by the words of comfort he always seemed to lose the moment they reached the tip of his tongue. He hated that she was so defensive in his presence and he kicked himself for making her feel that way. They kept going round-and-round and neither he nor she knew how to make it stop. The game would go on and on until someone ended it.

"Well, I thought it would be worth a shot. I just hate to see another little girl fall prey to this guy while we're out on what seems to be a wild goose chase. All of these so-called leads are pointless without a definite location. We've got three witnesses that swear they saw him the night the Jeffries girl was molested. Two more the following night with the Haddock girl and another last night. All these people and not one can say 'hey here's where he can be found'. If you ask me, something is fishy." She closed the file folder and let out a long breath before glancing over. He was chewing on his bottom lip.

"You're right. Let's check it out. Worth a shot." He saw her smile briefly and wished she did it more often. If all it took was him agreeing to what she had to say, then he had no problem with that. It felt nice to be getting along. It felt comfortable.

"What is this? I am right? Wish I could get that in writing." She chuckled and shook her head, happy with the thought that they could toss back playful banter again. She was about to tell him she was going to mark her calendar when he slammed on the breaks. She immediately threw her hands out, making contact with the dashboard.

"Shit! Son of a" He swore under his breath and willed his heart to calm down. His hands were clutching the steering wheel so hard his fingers were white. He panted as he got his bearings once again. There were far too many idiot taxi drivers in the city. He hadn't seen one driver that didn't think he or she owned the road. He was tempted to pull the driver over when he realized he'd completely forgotten about Olivia. Before he even turned to her, he knew something was amiss. She slowly met his gaze with wide eyes. She was scared shitless. He'd seen her frightened before but this time was different. He saw something else in her eyes, too. Pain. He'd seen it before she looked away.

Olivia groaned and turned her wrist. The momentum of the car and the sudden stop was so great it sent her flying forward. She wasn't fast enough to grab the dashboard. Her wrist had twisted in an awkward angle, sending a sharp pain through her hand and up her arm. She grimaced and tried to hide her expression. She looked down at her wrist and was surprised it wasn't swollen yet. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. That was a close call.

"Hey. You okay?" He saw her open her eyes partially and nod. She was flexing her fingers and periodically would grimace. He didn't have to be a genius to realize what had happened. She hadn't had any time to prepare herself, so when the car abruptly stopped she had jerked forward into the dashboard with only her hands to stop her foreword movement. He saw her nod slightly again and wondered who she was trying to convince more; him or her. Her wrist, from what he could see, appeared to be okay. He'd let her slide for the time being. He'd be willing to be within an hour she'd be needing something for it. He made a mental note to check the glove box for the bottle of Tylenol he usually kept in there. A car honked behind him and he stuck his arm out to wave, indicating he had every intention of continuing on their way.

He'd been keeping an eye on her the whole ride there. Every now and then, he'd glance over. He looked over again and was concerned when she didn't mind. If it were any other day, she'd be biting his head off for being too worried. It wasn't any other day, though. Something was up and he was determined to find out what it was. If they could just get past whatever was causing them to have a lack of communication. The long days weren't helping things. Luckily, he'd had a cup of coffee to start the day. He suddenly felt bad for not allowing Olivia a few moments to do the same. It wasn't as if they knew where the perp was, and a few minutes wouldn't have hurt anything. He cleared his throat and saw her turn her head to face him. So she wasn't sleeping.

"Oh, hey. Sorry. I guess I dozed off. Did you say something?" She stretched and couldn't hide the wince as she straightened her arms out. Her wrist was still bothering her. She grabbed the file that had fallen to the floorboard of the file and began to pick up the papers.

"No problem. I didn't say anything. I was actually going to ask you if you wouldn't mind stopping for a cup of coffee. I had some at the house but I'd love something that doesn't have a consistency of mud." He flashed her a smile and saw her grin slightly. He resisted the urge to bend down and help her.

"Sounds good. I could use something to help me wake up. The neighbors were exceptionally loud last night." She bit her lip a moment, debating whether to ask him or not he had anything to help her wrist. She had a slight headache on top of it all from lack of sleep and anything decent to eat. If they were going to be stuck in a car all day, she'd better take something. The unintentional nap she'd taken didn't seem to do anything to help her. If anything, she felt even more exhausted. All she wanted was to crash in the crib for a few hours. That'd have to wait, though.

"I remember those days. Why didn't you tell them to knock it off?" He had half a mind to do it himself if she didn't. He had a feeling she didn't want to cause trouble but eventually she'd get tired of it and do it.

"I should. I don't know them that well, though. I don't want to act like a jerk. I'll give it a week and see how it goes. Maybe they'll get it out of their system." She doubted that would happen. There were three nineteen year-olds living in a one-bedroom apartment. It was probably the only way they could afford it. They were young, she'd give them that, but they were still causing problems for their neighbors. Surely, the ones on the other side were tired of their constant partying as well.

"If it were me I'd be over there with my piece. Ya know, give 'em a reason to turn down the damn music." He shook his head. He sure didn't miss living in an apartment.

"I can see you now, Rambo. You know when it comes to kids you get soft. Don't deny it, Stabler." She chuckled and turned the vent to face her more. She hadn't realized how warm it was in the car. The air conditioner couldn't keep up with the sweltering city heat.

"True. You got me there, but still…I'd help you out if you want." He pulled the car off to the side next to the Starbucks. It seemed to be the only thing going right so far that day that he'd find an open spot. Maybe his luck was improving.

"Thanks. I'll let you know. What do you want me to get you?" She started to get out of the car before his hand found its way onto her shoulder.

"I got this one. You stay put. Don't let the cold air out." He undid his seatbelt and stepped out of the car and tried to hurry. The line wasn't too long, he thought.

She turned the dials and tried to find a good station. She looked over the dash to see if he was coming before she opened the glove box. Eureka! She found heaven in a bottle. There was only one in there, but she relished the idea of having something to take the edge off of her aching wrist and throbbing head. She undid the cap and palmed the remaining capsule while making a mental note to replenish his supply. She quickly replaced the cap and tossed the bottle back in before slamming the door. She didn't know why she couldn't just tell him she wanted some. She was being more macho than usual and she didn't know why. She saw him fumbling with the door and came to his rescue.

"Thanks. Here's yours." He handed her the cup before putting his into the holder and getting into the car. He latched his seat belt and glanced in the mirror before merging onto the street once again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her pop something into her mouth. Good. She wasn't beyond taking something, even if she didn't ask. He wished she didn't have to hide it from him, though. Did she really feel like it made her appear weak? He always thought she was so strong.

They arrived at the warehouse and surveyed the building before getting out of the car. Windows were broken out and the door had been latched haphazardly by what was assumed to be the previous owners. It stood vacant, making it the perfect location for rapists, junkies, and all the like. Elliot moved from the car first and held the door open as she stepped inside. Their guns drawn, they stood in the doorway to let their eyes adjust to the harsh lighting.

Elliot squinted, willing his eyes to work properly. He wasn't sure who or what was inside and he didn't want to be vulnerable. He waited as Olivia took in her surroundings. The door slammed and he cringed at his stupidity. If someone was inside, he'd just given away that they weren't alone. His breath caught in his chest and he saw Olivia stand still. He didn't have to be near her to tell she was breathing heavily.

The air was thick and made it hard for Olivia to breathe. It felt like a Sauna and she wished she'd worn something lighter. In her haste to get ready for the day, she'd slipped on the first thing she'd seen. She now donned a heavy long-sleeve shirt and black pants. She didn't know why they were even in her closet. She chalked it up to never having any time to rotate her clothing. She heard the door slam shut behind her and whipped her head around to see Elliot cursing himself silently. She turned her head back to see if anyone was coming. She couldn't hear a sound other than her heart pounding in her chest. She took a few calming breaths and moved forward to check out the building from the inside.

Off to the right, there was what looked to be an office with a "do not disturb" sign hanging from the door knob. The window along the wall was dirty, but they could see sparse furniture among the few items inside. On the ground below the window were candy bar wrappers and a few pop cans. It was hard to tell how long they'd been there. They had the potential to be evidence, but it was too soon to tell. They made their way around the outside of the office.

"What kind of warehouse is this? I can't tell from what's left in here. I thought it would be dirtier than this, El." She heard something hit one of the pillars holding the building up and realized she'd kicked a nail. She'd have to be careful.

"Careful, Liv. You don't want one of those through your foot." He bent down and noticed the nail was rust-free. It hadn't been exposed to any moisture. He scratched his forehead and looked around. "I think it was some sort of holding point for paper goods. Household items, things of that nature. Kind of like the middle man of a supply chain. I forget the name but something like Paper Trail or something stupid like that." He pulled at the collar of his shirt. Thankfully, he'd left his jacket in the car. If he was hot, he knew she had to be feeling the same oppressing heat.

"Ugh. If anyone has been or is staying here, they'd have to be crazy. I can hardly stand to be here and it's only been...six minutes? Geez." She pulled on her shirt a few times in an attempt to get some air circulating through her clothes before giving up. The sooner they got through the building, the sooner they could leave. She made her way around the room looking for any signs that anyone had been there recently.

"Heat makes people do crazy things. Not to mention if this guy's on the run he'll be desperate. He's been tipped off. He knows we're looking for him and it's a matter of time before we find his sorry ass. He may be ahead of us but people also do irrational things out of desperation. He could be slipping. I'll check out the office." The door was slightly ajar and he kicked it open with his foot. The building didn't have electricity but he could see enough. Thank heaven for small favors. One of the windows directly above the office had been broken out and let just enough light into the room for him to see uninhibited. He glanced out the window of the office and saw standing in the center of the warehouse, staring up at something. He followed her gaze up to a room upstairs that he hadn't seen before. He saw her make her way to a staircase and resumed his work.

The office was, for the most part, clean. The previous occupants had kept it presentable. File cabinets lined one wall, along with a poster that had yet to be taken down. The heat had made the tape on the back come loose from three of its four sides. He held up one side enough to see what it said, and chuckled. 'Who say a paper cut had to be painful?' The poster had a drawing of a stack of dollar bills on a scale. On the other side of the scale was another stack of bills, only shorter in height. The bottom of the poster had a number on it next to a company logo. He'd been right about the name. He released his hold on the poster and watched the remaining piece of tape give way. The poster floated to the floor and landed next to a chair. It was then that he'd noticed it. If it hadn't been for the stupid poster, he'd never would have seen it. He crouched down and examined the object. Bingo.

Olivia came down the stairs holding her wrist. She had a theory that anytime anyone injured themselves, wherever they were hurt, they were bound to do even more damage to the injured body part. She'd definitely need more drugs now. She made her way to the office and saw Elliot coming out with a plastic bottle in his hand.

"Check this out." He held up the bottle with his thumb and middle finger so that she could read what it said. When the meaning didn't register on Olivia's face, he held it out to her to take.

She shrugged and took the bottle. She was about to give it back and ask for a hint when it donned on her. The date. Milk bottles were always stamped with a date to sell by. Unlike a lot of products, milk was sold in a smaller time frame. The bottle had to have been there within the past week. It could be the break they needed. She gave the bottle back and flexed her fingers. She accidentally knocked the cap off and he bent down to pick it up.

"My thoughts exactly. Told ya'. He's getting sloppy. He's feelin' the heat." He saw her moving her wrist around and frowned. She quickly dropped her hands before he could look up. He'd already seen it, though.

"Let's send the guys out here to take a look. I didn't see anything upstairs. Just a couple of tables. Looked like it was a break room at some point. Nothing substantial. How'd you find it?" She gave up on trying alleviating the ache that had become part of her day. She saw him shake his head and laugh.

"Tell ya' later. Let's just say I got lucky. Let's blow this popsicle stand. Wow, that sounded weird all things considered. You, my friend, are going to go sit in the nice, air conditioned car. Two blocks away is a gas station where I will go inside and get you something to take for your wrist and don't argue with me, Liv. I know it's bothering you and I also know you took my last pain reliever before you hid the evidence back in the glove box. I know your tricks; I use 'em all the time. Come on." He grinned but immediately wiped the expression off his face when he saws her scowl.

"Yeah well if someone could drive I wouldn't need any. Ever think of that?" She huffed and walked ahead of him toward the door. She resisted the urge to let the spring on the door send it flying into his face. She held it with her foot and let it go a moment later when she heard him approaching.

"Whoa, what was that?" He jogged to catch up with her retreating form. He know how she prided herself on being strong and he knew better than to pester her. If he'd just let her be, she'd come to him when the time was right. He kicked a rock and sent it flying across the parking lot. Damnit his stupid mouth.

"Nothing, damnit." She let out a ragged breath and stood next to the car, waiting for him to unlock it so that she could get in. They'd forgotten to crack the windows. Just great. She toed the gravel beneath her feet, not wanting to look at his hurt expression. She didn't mean to get snappy. Sometimes the urge just hit her and she couldn't check herself. She heard the door click and lifted the handle, feeling a jolt of pain go up her arm. She hissed and hoped he didn't hear her as she pulled the door open all the way and got inside before fumbling with the seatbelt. She looked up and noticed his attention was on the road ahead. She felt like a heel.

Elliot heard her sharp intake of breath and stopped himself from looking over. He was the one who had gotten them into this mess. He wasn't about to make her feel worse. He bit back the question nagging at him. She clearly wasn't okay and wasn't ready to admit it. He was her partner, after all. He knew the answer already. Next question.

She stared out the window as the cars along the side of the road passed in a blur. Just as he'd said, two blocks down the road was a gas station.

Elliot hurried inside and picked out a bottle of extra strength pain reliever and two bottles of water. He juggled them in his arms while he gave the counter clerk the exact change. He nudged the door open with his hip and walked back to the car. He couldn't see past the glare on the front windshield but he knew she hadn't moved since he'd gone in. He got inside and did his lap belt before putting the bottles of water into the cup holders.

"Here." He opened the box and twisted the cap before taking out the ball of cotton and placing it in the box. He tossed the box in the back and shook out two capsules. He replaced the cap and put the bottle in the glove box next to the empty one. He hoped she couldn't see his smirk. He couldn't help himself. It was cute in a way. She'd always been the one to take the last of something and leave the empty container sitting there until he threw it away. Unlike all the times before, this time she'd done it to hide her so-called weak moment from him. He saw her turn in her seat and placed the pills in her hand before unscrewing the cap of her water.

"Thanks." She popped the pills in her mouth and took the bottle he was holding out to her. She downed a third of the water before handing it back. She cautiously looked at him, unsure of what she would see in his eyes. She smiled slightly, seeing that he bore no hard feelings. She watched him put the car into gear and pull onto the street. It would be easier to say the words if he wasn't looking at her. She chewed on her lower lip and hesitated before speaking. "Hey, Elliot. Um…good catch back there." She didn't want to elaborate on what she meant. It was hard for her to talk about certain things, especially her own well-being. She hoped he caught her double meaning.

"Well, they don't call me a detective for nothing." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stifle a laugh, not yet ready to admit she was wrong in snapping at him. It was her own way of apologizing, he knew. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and thought about how they'd come to the point where they hardly had to speak at all. He knew what she meant before she even said the words. She could have come out and thanked him for noticing that she needed him. To the lay person, she was congratulating him on his fine detective skills. Any normal person would take it as a pat on the back on a job well done in finding an empty milk bottle that had been kicked aside. In her own subtle way; her own strong way she was telling him how much she appreciated him noticing that she was too stubborn to ask for help. He held the wheel with one hand and pushed two buttons on the console to let the hot air escape.

The day wasn't even half over. The perp may be ahead of them, but they were gaining ground. When the results came back, they'd find out if he'd been in that warehouse. They had more to go on than they did less than twenty-four hours ago. The car was quiet on the way back to the station. Neither wanted to break the silence. They both still needed time to cool off. It that was even possible. They knew they were okay but they also knew not to push their luck.

"Alright, what have we got?" Cragen eyed his detectives carefully. It was one of those days. He could always tell when something was amiss and for a while he had a feeling it was coming. Both Olivia and Elliot were looking away from him as if expecting a reprimand. He had no doubts they needed to work it out between themselves and let it go for the time being. He just hoped he wouldn't regret it. He waited for them to speak. Elliot glanced at Olivia and seeing she wasn't in the mood, started.

"Uh…sorry. Lost track of my thoughts. We got a tip the perp had been seen near an abandoned factory, hence the crew being there now. It's the only lead we have that has panned out to anything. All of our so-called witnesses don't know where he went. Ten bucks says they remember and just can't say." Cragen nodded in agreement.

"Makes sense. We have to remember who we're dealing with here. Guy's on the run, he probably knows people in the business. Friend of a friend sort of thing. Tread carefully with this one. Something tells me he doesn't have as many connections, though, since he's still in the city. He could have been long gone by now, but I'd be willing to bet once he knows we're getting close it'll go to hell in a hand basket. He's only been at this, as far as we know, for a little over a year. The only other lead we've had was over six months ago and that one turned up nothing. We also need to remember we're dealing with traumatized victims and their parents. I don't need to tell you this, but time is of the essence. The guy hasn't escalated to kidnapping, but it's only a matter of time. If we stay on him we'll be that much closer to preventing him from that happening." He took a sip of his coffee and thought a moment. They were gaining ground, he thought. Once the lab results came back along with any prints or evidence, he'd be able to direct the case in another direction. Hopefully, that lead to where the perp would be. He knew it was a lot to ask.

"So, what now? We just sit and wait? I don't like it. He could be out there with another little girl as we speak and all we have is a milk bottle. Right, he could have been there. He most likely was there. The warehouse hasn't been vacant very long so the evidence inside is probably from him. That doesn't tell us anything, though. It just says he was there. Do we have anything on this guy?" She went to cross her arms and thought better of it and held her wrist as she leaned forward.

"Olivia, I know you're frustrated but it's all we have right now. You know how it goes. Yeah, we're going to wait. I'm not going to send you two out there again until we have something solid telling us where he's going. There are plenty of abandoned warehouses and vacant buildings in the city. Find out why he chose that one. Do what you have to do. Link this guy to a general area and I'll be more than happy to give you the go-ahead to move on it." He watched her fumble with the door before yanking it over. He hard a muffled curse before the door shut behind her once again. He braced himself for the slam and when it didn't come, he was surprised. He knew she wasn't happy with the idea, but the brass was on him about wasting the city's money. He hated politics but he didn't have a choice.

"What should I do? I know we have to let the evidence speak but who knows when that will be? Want me to talk to Huang? Maybe get a profile for this guy? I know we don't have much to go with. Maybe once we have a location we can get with the other precinct and find out who or what this guy is targeting." Elliot stood, stretching. He glanced back through the glass and saw Olivia sitting at her desk. She was talking heatedly on the phone to some poor, unsuspecting person on the other end. God be with whomever it was.

"Do it. Talk to Huang. For kicks, talk to the precinct over there and get a list of any offenders in the area. See if there are any schools nearby. Parks, daycares, anything that this guy might be targeting. The other victims were either at the park or leaving school. So, check on that first. The victims are all spread out but maybe we can get something out of the location of the warehouse. Now, tell me what's going on with your partner." He cleared his throat, getting Elliot's attention.

"Cap, I don't know. She said she didn't get much sleep last night. Noisy neighbors. I'm staying out of her way. If she wants to talk, she'll talk. Whatever is going on won't affect our work." He looked Cragen in the eyes, letting him know he meant every word. He'd talk to Huang on the phone and work from his desk where he could keep an eye on her. He opened the door to leave when Cragen started to speak again.

"See that it doesn't. Oh, and Elliot, have her hand looked at." He saw Elliot raise his eyebrows and hesitate before leaving. Olivia would fight him tooth and nail but she was too pigheaded to admit when she wasn't 100. He shook his head and watched the door close. He didn't envy Elliot for that job.

Elliot let the door shut behind him and approached their desks. He saw Olivia was still on the phone and looking angrier as the seconds passed. She was making sweeping motions with her hands and pointing every which way, all signs that she wasn't happy. He sat down and dialed the familiar number while he took out a notepad and pen. He heard it ring a few times before the Doctor picked up. After briefing him on the case, he jotted notes, all the while stealing glances across the desk. Had he not been looking, her slamming the phone down might have startled him. He glared at her and held up his hands in mock surrender as he cradled the receiver between his neck and shoulder. Once he hung up, he could feel the temperature drop and his angry partner's temper, surprisingly, did nothing to heat up the room.

"So?" She tore off the paper in front of her, bit by bit, until the bottom half was gone.

"So…what?" He knew what she was getting at but she was being pissy and he wanted her to know he wasn't going to play that game.

"Elliot, you know what I'm talking about. What did Cragen do? Order you to babysit me? Should I be made to sit in the corner for not using my inside voice?" She huffed and threw the last piece of paper on the desk next to the others before sweeping them away onto the floor.

"You know how hard it is to talk to you when you're like this? I can't say anything right. You jump down my throat. If you must know, I asked him what the game plan was. He asked if everything was alright with you. I told him you hadn't gotten much sleep that you were fine which, after your little tantrum I'm not sure that you are. Why are you getting so worked up over this case, Liv? How is it any different than the ones before?" With each word, he leaned in closer, looking her in the eye.

"My little tantrum? Excuse me if I don't want to just wait around while this asshole takes another child! Jesus, Elliot, when did it become a crime to want to do my job? You know, I knew you would do this. I knew you'd saunter in there and the minute I left you'd turn into this macho man and tell him how I'm just being this emotional female cop!" She balled up her fist and pounded it on the desk before letting out a curse.

"Alright, that's enough, damnit. I tried to play nice. I'm sorry for this morning but this is ridiculous. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot this morning. I was angry that you were late and I took it out on you, wrongly. It wasn't your fault. But I am not to blame for the rest of the day, Liv. It's always the same anymore. Two steps forward, five steps back. When are we going to just work? Just work without petty arguments and childish behavior?" He threw up his hands and sat back in his chair. Leaning back, he placed his hands behind his head and studied her.

"You're right. Okay, I was mad at you for acting like I can't make a freaking mistake but I dropped it. But, Elliot, I don't know what's going on anymore. I feel like you treat me like the bad guy and if I had even a clue as to what I could do to fix it, I would. Do you think I enjoy this? I just…I hate feeling so powerless to stop the inevitable. That's what it is, isn't it? We just sit around and wait for a victim when we don't have any evidence. We just sit here and let some child, some…some….little kid become a victim and for what? Because we couldn't put the pieces of the puzzle together? I can't do that, Elliot. I can't be the one who let a kid get raped or worse because I didn't try my damndest to prevent it. I can't and I won't. So, screw you and screw Cragen if you think I would and screw the damn politics. You know where they can stick their budget? Up their godforsaken, holier than thou asses. I'll follow up these so-called leads and on my off-time I _will_ be looking for that bastard and God help him when I find him." She abruptly rose from her chair and stood. She walked out of the squad room and out the door, leaving Elliot to sort through what she'd just said.

"Shit!" He patted his pockets and jumped up to follow her outside. Smiling to himself, he pulled out a wadded Kleenex he'd left in his pant pocket and held it up as he neared the car.

"Fine. Laugh all you want. I forget you had the keys." She mumbled and kicked an invisible rock with her foot. She hated it when he got the last laugh. She was so pissed off she had to get out of there. She was so tired. Tired of seeing all the little faces in her dreams and their parents' angry expressions. She was tired of getting close and losing a victim through her fingertips at the very last second. She was tired of it all and lately she didn't know how to get a grip on anything. She was losing herself and it scared her because she was dragging Elliot down with her. What she'd just said in the room caught up with her and she gasped. She hadn't said anything hurtful, really. She was just frustrated. He knew that, right?

"Surrender. See my white flag? I surrender. I'll go wherever you want to go." He unlocked the door and hit the locks, letting her in. He looked over and she was still standing there. He sighed. She was more pissed than he thought. He didn't take offense to anything she'd said. He knew she had a lot of pent up emotion and it was only a matter of time before she let it out. Thankfully he'd been the only one in the room at the time. He patted the seat next to him and told her to get in.

"I'm trying to think of the most expensive place I know. After the day I've had, you're buying. Lucky for you all I don't know any because I can't afford any. You choose." She got in and shut the door.

"Don't kill the messenger, but we have to make a stop first." He bit his lip, not wanting to tell her where.

"Oh, Elliot I know it already quit being a scared little boy. Did you think I was going to pounce on you? Just drive." She shook her head and laughed at his expression.

"Wh…how'd you know? And more importantly, why aren't you mad?" He glanced at her, shocked.

"I'm a woman. Women's intuition. Oh, and before you two talk about me, in the future, you should close the door." She grinned slightly. The look on his face was priceless.

"If I knew you'd be that easy to convince I'd have tolasked you earlier." He glanced back at the road and let out a sigh of relief. Sometimes they both just needed to vent.

"Nice save." She chuckled and stared out the window as a small portion of the weight on her shoulders lifted.

"The drug store or lunch?" Elliot turned to his partner, taking in her now-in-a-cast wrist. He still couldn't believe he'd caused it, and he doubted he'd ever hear the end of it. Guilt overwhelmed him, making him feel like a complete ass. He'd been onto her all day and making matters worse, he'd caused a fracture in her wrist. He wasn't earning any brownie points in the friend category and lately he wasn't sure that he was in the partner category, either. Strike two, Elliot. What else was there? Nah, he wouldn't go there. Not that he didn't want to. Occasionally.

"Lunch, then drug store. Not that I'll need to take anything. I think I'll just sleep it off." She shrugged and watched him drive. She'd let him off the hook. He was never on it to begin with. They'd just hit a rough patch and hell if she knew how to get out of it.

"Liv, you sleep off a headache. Not a broken wrist. If we can't chase any leads, we may as well milk our lunch time. What do you say?" He gave her a cheesy grin raised his eyebrows.

"Fine. I hate sitting around. I'd rather be out here." She let out a long sigh.

"The last thing I want to do is have the phone glued to my ear all day but I still have to get in touch with the precinct near the warehouse and see if they know anything about our perp. Cragen's orders." He drove to the diner and parked.

"You know, I think there's a drug store near the warehouse. Wouldn't hurt to just, you know, ask around after we get my drugs." She definitely was using her wrist to her advantage. She felt bad, but only a little. After all, it was sort of his idea.

"Cragen would love that. We'll just tell him they called it into the wrong one. And hide the bag so he doesn't know exactly where the 'right one' is, okay?" He laughed and the two drove in silence.

An hour later, Olivia and Elliot had eaten and had picked up her medication. The only thing left to do was make a quick trip to the precinct that happened to be in the neighborhood of the drug store, and head back. As Elliot pulled into the lot, he hesitated before finally giving in. If it turned out to be useful, they'd be able to justify their little jaunt.

"Nice digs. Want to transfer here?" He looked around, surveying the mismatched desks and chairs.

"No, thanks. I'll never complain about the 1-6 again." She caught herself as she started to trip on a piece of cracked tile.

"Oh, sorry about that, ma'am. I knew I forgot something. I was supposed to get someone to fix that, like yesterday." The desk sergeant looked to be a few days over thirty.

"Detective Benson. This is my partner, Detective Stabler. We're here to speak to someone in the sex crimes division." She flashed her badge and replaced it.

"That would be Detective Jackson. He's around the corner about two desks to your right. You can't miss him." He whispered the last sentence, not wanting to get into trouble.

"Okay, thanks." Olivia led the way. She wasn't sure how she'd be able to know who the infamous detective was, but she didn't like the way the sergeant acted.

"Who do you think he is, Liv? That guy over there sporting the 'whose-ass-should-i-kick-now' face?" He stepped in time with Olivia.

"Detective Jackson? We're here from the 16th. Special Victims Unit. Is there somewhere we can talk?" She looked around, hoping to find an interrogation room of sorts.

"Depends." His response was muffled behind a newspaper dated two days ago.

"On?" She was growing impatient. Her wrist hurt and she was grouchy.

"On what you have to tell me." He smirked and put down his paper before trailing his eyes over her small frame. He liked what he saw, clearly.

"Look, buddy, all we want to do is ask you some questions. Why the third degree?" Elliot came around beside the man's desk and looked him in the eye. It was the equivalent of 'back off'.

"Because I get a half hour in my shitty day to myself and maybe I don't want to cater to a couple know-it-all's, that's why. You're not going to leave unless you get what you came here for so just go in the office over there and I'll be right there. Satisfied?" He huffed and folded his paper.

"More than you'll ever know." She walked off, rolling her eyes.

"Nice guy. I think he likes you." He heard her snort a response.

"What's so important you came over here? Why not just pick up the phone? You do have one of those at the 1-6?" He sat down and gestured slightly for the two opposing chairs crammed against the wall.

"We were in the neighborhood. You know anything about the old warehouse on the corner? My partner and I were there this morning looking around. We have reason to believe that our perp has been there. We're trying to nail him before he splits. Oh, yeah, and there are kids involved. That may spark your interest." Elliot tried to gauge the man's reaction. His eyes were on Olivia, not once moving.

"Unless you want a sexual harassment suit brought against you, I suggest you find something more interesting to look at." She'd had enough with this bozo.

"Nothing else I care to look at. Look around, detective. There hasn't been a female here in over six years. We work all day, go home to our wives in the wee hours in the morning. We haven't had a good lay in months. So, yeah, I find you interesting. What's wrong? You don't get enough attention at your precinct? You have to flaunt your shit in here? Let me tell you something, your petty little suit wouldn't get farther than the door. So, I suggest you shut your pretty little mouth before I do it for you. Oh, wait, looks like someone already did." He sneered and leaned in, within a few inches of her face. He could see her face go flush. He enjoyed seeing her squirm. Just for kicks, he ran his finger down the buttons of her shirt. He could feel her flinch and back into the wall.

"Back the fuck off, asshole." Elliot was up in a flash, pulling the detective from his partner. He was breathing heavy. He couldn't believe the balls on the detective. He'd just sat there and let it happen. What kind of man was he? Letting that bastard even get near her like that. He pushed Jackson against the wall and pointed to the door. Once Olivia was out, he shut the door.

Once the door was shut, Olivia let out a sigh of relief. She was still reeling from what had just happened. She could hear Elliot telling Jackson off. A part of her was angry for Elliot stepping in, but she was more scared than anything. The moment she felt uneasy, she should have walked out. She couldn't understand why she didn't. She was broken from her thoughts when the door slammed back open.

"Let's go." Instead of walking ahead, Elliot motioned for Olivia to go first and followed her out of the squad room and into the parking lot . He grabbed her gently by her good wrist and turned her around.

"Thanks. I don't know what happened. I should have just walked out. I can still feel him on me." She shuddered at the mental image of him touching her.

"Jesus, I'm the one who should be sorry. That asshole was staring at you the whole time. I should have done something sooner. It shouldn't have even gotten to that point. Are you okay?" He detected something in her posture. She was tense, and rightly so. She'd just about gotten groped by another detective.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up. God, look at me." She stared down at her hands. Even the one encased in a cast was trembling.

"Come here." He slipped his arm around her as they walked to the car. The tension left them and was replaced by a sick feeling of repulsion.

"Did you get anything out of him? Spare me any nauseating details, please. Did he give you anything on the warehouse or the perp?" She should have felt odd about his gesture, but she found it to be comforting.

"He didn't know much. I got a few names he's tied to other child molestations in the area. Other than that, nada. Nothing has been reported at any of the schools or parks nearby, either. Looks like our guy isn't from here. Either that, or he's not a practicing pervert.

"Great. Guess we should head back. Thanks again for in there. And for even going in. I'm sorry I dragged you out here." She moved to let him unlock her and squeezed his hand gently before the hand on her shoulder fell away. She missed the contact already. It had been the only connection to him she'd had lately.

"I was the one driving. I could have just headed back. I think we're both emotional, hot, and on edge. Come on. I'll help you call around." He smiled at her, warmly. Maybe they were headed in the right direction after all. In spite of the relief that they were on better terms, he couldn't help but wonder how long it would last. He hated that he even thought that way. He pushed the thought aside and enjoyed the moment for what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the day had gone smoothly back at the station house. Elliot and Olivia hadn't spoken a word about what had happened with Jackson. They silently agreed to drop it.

Elliot shut his lamp off and stood up to stretch. He cleared his throat and saw Olivia look up in his direction.

"Hey, El. You headed home?" She didn't wait for an answer before returning to her files. She was finishing up the last paragraph. Overall, they hadn't had much luck. The rest of their day had been spent making calls. They were still waiting on DNA from the milk bottle. Since they weren't dealing with a kidnapping, they were at the bottom of the list to get their sample worked.

"Yeah, come on. I'll drive you home." He sat back down in his chair, determined to wait the rest of the night if he had to. He'd seen the signs of pain etched in the corners of her eyes and the crease in her brows. She was overdue for pain killers, he knew. She wouldn't take anything on the job.

"An offer I can't refuse. One more second." She stifled a yawn with the back of her cast. She was still getting used to having it on. She quickly jotted down the remaining sentences and shut the file before placing it in her desk drawer until the morning.

"Great. After you, Liv." He made a flicking motion with the back of his hand, motioning for her to go first.

"Oh, it feels so good to get up and move. I haven't sat that long in ages." She took in a deep breath once she got outside. No matter how hot it was, the fresh air always seemed to help her mood.

"Know what I'm thinking?" Elliot unbuttoned his collar.

"Ice cold shower?" She stood by the door, waiting for him to open it.

"Better. Ice cold beer. I'll even spring for a pizza. What do you say?" He saw her hesitate a moment, mulling over the decision.

"You know what? That sounds fantastic. I'd take a be…damn. I…hang on." She patted her pockets even though she knew it wouldn't be there.

"What?" He frowned, unsure of what she was trying to find.

"Oh, you reminded me of something. I can't have alcohol with my meds. I forgot them inside." She sighed and glanced in the general direction of the station. She loathed having to go back.

"I still have them. They're in the car. I didn't think you'd want to take them at work and I wouldn't have accepted anything other than you to accept my offer to drive you home. I just left them there for you. I forgot about the beer thing, though. Sorry, Liv. If it makes you feel better, I won't have one. We can suffer together." He knew how good an ice cold beer sounded. He couldn't drink one right in front of her. If she couldn't have one, they both would do without.

"Oh, thanks. I should have known you'd do that. I'm slipping." She chuckled and got in the car after he'd undone the locks.

"Nah. I think all that ass time is affecting your brain. You're used to using it more on the streets." He started the car and pulled into traffic. The air was muggy and he was sweating already. He welcomed it, though. He was going home, finally.

"Must be. I like your theory. Let's get some food. I'd take anything, at this point. I'm famished." She laughed when she heard his stomach growl as if agreeing to her statement.

"So, who were you talking to earlier? Someone give you a hard time?" He remembered her call in the precinct earlier and chalked it up to her being frustrated. She'd been snippy ever since the call, though. As the day progressed, she seemed a little more relaxed, but he couldn't help but wonder what the call was all about.

"Huh? When?" She feigned innocence.

"You know what I mean. You weren't exactly a ray of sunshine in there after the meeting with Cragen. I know he pissed you off, but I also know you well enough to know it was more than that. Who do I need to take care of?" He cracked his knuckles and made a fist.

"Oh, you mean Adam. Oh, it's nothing. Just a rough patch. Well, our latest rough patch." She rolled her eyes as she recalled the conversation. Lately all he wanted was sex and she wasn't home enough to give it to him. He was such a nice guy the first month or two. It wasn't until lately that she noticed a change in him. She stopped inviting him over, hoping he'd get the hint. He didn't. His calls were growing in frequency and she was tired of dodging them.

"Adam? Who's that?" He frowned, trying to remember what they'd talked about earlier. He figured her power had been restored.

"Adam as in…semi-boyfriend, Adam. We're sort of seeing each other." She braced herself. It was inevitable they'd discuss him at some point.

"Oh, okay. Uh…how is he? Wait, stupid question. Are you okay?" He fumbled for words. He wanted to ask her when she'd started dating the guy but held his tongue. She'd obviously been upset about something. No use asking about the guy unless she felt like volunteering the information.

"Yeah. I've been trying to find a way to break it off with him for a while. It just isn't working out. You know, with my schedule and all." She felt like a broken record. Most guys she'd dated got tired of her schedule. Years ago she'd welcome a date that wouldn't mind and now she seemed to be using it as an excuse to get out of a relationship.

"As long as you're happy, Liv. You don't seem very happy, though." He knew there was more but it would have to wait until she felt like sharing more.

"Thanks for not pushing. It's just that he's kind of bothering me lately. I don't know, maybe I'm being paranoid. He's calling my cell phone. I finally quit checking my messages today. I knew I'd be near the desk phone if anyone needed me. He used that one. I can't have him calling there. I'm already in hot water with the Captain without that adding to it." She crossed her arms, noticing it would be time soon for some meds. She'd put it off long enough.

"Do you think he'd take it further?" He grew antsy. He felt bad for not helping her earlier. He was surprised she was even talking about it with him.

"What? No. Not Adam. At least, I don't think so. It's really no big deal. He's just…how can I explain this? This is so embarrassing, but it's like the guy can't take no for an answer. I just….you know how it is. You get home after seeing these horrible things and you want to take a hot shower and there the guy is propped up on the bed. It's like 'here I am.' Can't a girl relax?" She was rambling. She was too worked up to care. She deserved to unwind. She was used to being by herself and if Adam didn't understand her need to be independent occasionally, then screw him. She laughed bitterly at the though. Yeah, bet he'd like that.

"Sounds like a creep. How'd he even get in, Liv?" He grew more irritated. He had half a mind to find out where the guy lived.

"It was a couple months ago. He said he was worried because I hadn't called. When I got home he was outside my door. He was so worked up. I couldn't figure it out. I just thought he was upset that he couldn't get a hold of me. I told him if it made him feel better he could have a key but he damned well better call first that I wasn't going to just let him roam around without me there. He swore he'd call. I know it was a mistake but I honestly didn't think anything would come out of it. I guess you should always trust your gut instinct. I knew there was something funny about him. I see it all the time at work. I should have just listened to my instincts." She ran a hand through her hair and pulled down the visor to check for any errant strands.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. It's okay for the guy to be upset but for him to be calling you all the time is not. Sounds like you need to drop that guy like a bad habit. Get your key back. Better yet, get your locks changed." He pulled up by the pizza joint and killed the engine in the car.

"I don't want to cause any trouble. I should have ended it when I suspected something." In the back of her mind, she was growing more scared of Adam. He'd never hit her, but he had a temper she'd seen more than once. She'd always given in. She felt like she was being used.

"Don't want to cause trouble…Olivia, the guy's harassing you. Let him go before he hurts you. You don't mess around with guys like this. I've seen it a million times and so have you. Please? If not for yourself, for me? Olivia, you're my friend and I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you. I know we've had our issues but it doesn't change the fact that I care about you." He was using her first name. He did that when he was serious about something; about getting his point across. She gazed back at him, hanging on his every word. Good. She was listening.

"I don't know what to say to him. I told him that I needed some space and that if he couldn't handle that then we should split up. He seemed fine with it. It's hot and cold with him. I thought he'd just let it go." She made no attempt to get out of the car. Her appetite had been ruined at the thought of Adam's slimy hands all over her and her silent protests for him to just get it over with. She hadn't noticed the tear fall from her eye until she felt a hand on her shoulder as Elliot turned her to face him.

"Olivia, did this Adam guy do something to you? Did he…did he hurt you?" It felt like hours while he waited for an answer. He watched her eyes intently. The fact that was even considering how to answer his question scared the hell out of him.

"I…Adam…we aren't intimate. We just…you know. Can we talking about something else?" She sniffled and wiped the moisture from her eyes. She hated that he'd made her cry. She'd been so emotional lately, trying to keep it all in. Elliot's fears were confirming her own. Was it rape? She clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Oh my god, that son of a bitch. That filthy, son of a bitch!" He slammed his hand on the steering wheel, seething. He couldn't say the word. He couldn't say it. He was shaking, he was so angry. All he could feel was the heat from his rage. All he could see was red. Pure anger made up his entire being at that moment. He had enough sense to pull her into an embrace when she started sobbing. He felt like shit. His own eyes watered as he watched Olivia struggle with the truth she'd obviously just found. That son of a bitch.

"Elliot?" Her voice cracked. She looked at him, begging for answers. The gravity of the situation hit her full force and she was struggling to grasp reality. She held onto him so tightly her knuckles were white. Her wrist throbbed and she pulled away, hissing in pain.

"I. Am. So. Sorry." He breathed heavily, muttering each syllable slowly as if trying to believe the news himself. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes for the first time since she'd told him.

"I can't believe I was so naive. I didn't want to upset him. I can't believe I let myself be put in that position." She heard his breathing evening out and his eyes had a clarity in them she hadn't seen for a while. For once, she was glad for his protective role.

"It's not your fault, Liv. Don't you ever blame yourself for that asshole doing that to you. You might have suspected something, but you had no reason to believe the guy would escalate. As far as you knew, he just had a temper and he wanted sex. Did you ever tell him no?" He shut down the mental image of her being taken advantage of before it entered his mind.

"No." She mumbled the words. She was barely heard over the car starting once again.

"But you made every indication you didn't want it. Like today. That guy had you backed into the wall, Liv. You had nowhere to go. That's what Adam did, wasn't it? After you told him you weren't up to it or you just didn't feel like it? He didn't leave you a way out. You don't have to say the word no for it to be implied. He knew you didn't want it. It wasn't your fault." He stared at her, completely lost. She never looked more broken to him than at that moment.

"I just froze in that room today. It's like the mouse that stays still so the cat will think it's dead and will just leave it alone, only it doesn't. It just gets even more mad while the mouse tries to become invisible." The last word was whispered, almost inaudible.

"I wouldn't have let him do anything to you. You know that, right, Liv?" He wanted her to understand she'd never be a victim if he could help it. The thing was, she already had been and he never even knew Adam existed. He pulled out into the street again. He saw her nod, unable to speak. They were both talked out and had lost their appetite.

Neither said a word as he pulled up next to his building. He didn't want her to be alone. He wasn't about to send her off to be taken advantage of. If Adam was as bad as he sounded, Elliot would have to have a little talk with the guy, man to man.

"Hey, Elliot?" Olivia unbuckled her seat belt and faced him as he did the same.

"Yeah, Liv?" He pulled the handle but didn't open the door.

"Thank you for…being there. Thanks for being here tonight. Well, today and tonight. I know things have been weird between us but I'd like us to start over. I don't want to fight anymore. I can't take it." She placed her good hand on his free hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You don't have to thank me for being your friend, Liv. I couldn't not be here. I'm just sorry all this was going on and I didn't know about it. If you'll let me, I'd like to help you. I don't want to fight anymore, either. So, starting tomorrow, we start fresh. Okay?" He rubbed his thumb over her fingers and smiled.

"'Kay. I have something to confess to you. Friend." She gave a small grin before growing serious.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He pulled his hand from her grip and placed it on her forearm.

"Uh…I did have noisy neighbors but they moved out a week ago. I couldn't sleep last night. Adam had called so many times and I finally convinced him not to come over and by the time I had gotten to sleep it was early morning, the power had gone out, and then you called. I'm sorry I lied to you." She looked down, averting her gaze.

"Then we're both sorry, because I shouldn't have given you such a hard time. I shouldn't have been such a prick. I'd still give them a talking to if you did have neighbors like that." He reached down and grabbed the pill bottle from the floor of the passenger side before pushing the door open. He patted her arm and got out of the car.

"I know you would, and I'll take a rain check." She got out of the car and met him on the sidewalk.

They walked up the stairs to his building. Their hands would touch briefly. Occasionally, they turned to meet each other's gaze. It was a small gesture to let the other know that they were okay again. This time, it would be for good.

Elliot nudged Olivia with his elbow, jokingly. When she didn't laugh, he saw she was staring across the street.

"Go. Go inside, Elliot." She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the door. Once inside, she let out a breath she'd been holding.

"What? What's wrong?" He let her lead him up the stairs to his floor. She finally spoke as they reached his door.

"I just saw Adam's car drive by." She linked her arm with his, needing to feel protected.

"Get in. He's not touching you. He's not going near you. He's going to have to go through me first." He closed the door behind them and went into the kitchen to make the coffee. They could both have the caffeine.

"Oh, God. He must have gotten your address. He went through my things. Shit." She walked to the couch and set the cup on the table. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Finish your coffee. Take a shower, relax, do whatever you need to do. Take my bed. I'll sleep out here but you are not going home tonight. Not until we get this guy off your tail." He cursed his choice of words. She made no move to get up but opened her eyes and picked up her cup. He noticed her eyes growing heavy as she drank. He was wide awake, though. He hadn't planned on sleeping, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

Elliot crept into the living room. He'd left Olivia on the couch after she'd fallen asleep. He wanted her to take the bed, but she had crashed before she'd even gotten a shower in. He cringed when the hardwood floors squeaked under his weight. The sound immediately woke her.

"Hey." She rubbed her eyes and raised her arms over her head to stretch. She smacked her lips, trying to wake up.

"Sorry. It always does that when I'm trying to be quiet for the kids. Do you want to go back to sleep? If you're up for the day, I can make some coffee." He watched her get up and start to fold the blanket he'd placed over her.

"I can't sleep after I wake up. Coffee sounds good." She set the blanket on the couch and walked with him to the kitchen.

"How'd you sleep? You catch up any from the other night?" He started making the coffee and turned to face her as the machine started.

"Good. Better than I have in a while. Thank you for letting me crash on your couch." She took a seat at the table and examined her cast. She still had to figure out a way to get into the shower without getting it wet.

"Well, you fell asleep early. I was going to force you to take my bed, but you had other plans." He chuckled and pulled out a chair to sit down.

"I don't remember much after getting here." She yawned, still feeling the past couple days.

"You were pretty wiped. I think we should talk about this guy Adam. I want to run a check on him, but I wanted to ask you first." He knew to tread carefully when it came to her personal life.

"I can run it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him. There was a time we knew everything about each other. He isn't exactly forthcoming with information. All the more reason I should have known something was up. What about you? Are you seeing anyone? I hate that I don't even know the answer to that." She'd felt them getting farther away from each other at work and after hours. She missed his companionship; his friendship.

"Don't be. We both let the job get to us and it affected us more than we should have let it. I'm not seeing anyone. I'm making it a priority to be there for my kids now. I missed so much of their lives growing up. I just want to be there for them now. I know I can't change the past, but I don't want to go back to the guy I was before. I don't want to be angry all the time and take it out on the ones I love. I ruined my marriage. I won't ruin my relationship with my kids. They're innocent in all this. They didn't have a say in the career I chose." He felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He hadn't had a deep discussion with her in a while, and it felt good to get things off his chest.

"Wow, I can't think of the last time I've seen them. How are they enjoying the time with dad? I bet you're spoiling them rotten." She was glad to see he was happier in his home life. Sometimes she wished there was a place in it for her.

"You bet. Baseball games, shopping. You tell anyone, and I will hurt you, but I like shopping with the kids. I don't even know what they're into, anymore. Did you know Lizzie likes to write music, and that Dickie wants to play the guitar? He's taking lessons now. I'm so proud of them. Maureen and Kathleen are growing up so fast. They've gotten so close in all this. I'm glad they have someone to turn to." He sat for a moment, reflecting on how well things were going, finally. He couldn't help the smile that graced his features.

"It's so good to see you happy, El. I'm happy for you. That's the way it should be." She patted his hand with hers and went to pull it away. He stopped her and squeezed it gently before looking her straight in the eye.

"I want those things for you. I want you to have kids and to see them grow up. I want you to experience the poopy diaper and three in the morning. The slobber on your shirt seconds before you have to leave for work. I want you to read a story to your child and for them to hang on every word. God, Liv, I want you to be happy, too." He reluctantly broke away when he heard the dripping in the machine cease.

"I want that, too. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't meant to be, though. If I'm just here to help other people." She drank the coffee he'd prepared for her and watched him sit back down.

"You can't do that, though. You need something for yourself or it'll eat you away. It already has. Don't let it, because you're too young to be unhappy. Come to the park with us this weekend." He saw her start to protest and held his hand up.

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" She grinned and held the cup between her hands. She stared down at her reflection. She hardly recognized her own image. She had changed. Maybe she did need to get out and experience life.

"'Course not. I'll tell the kids you're coming. They'll be glad to see you again." He got up and took a sip of his coffee before setting it back onto the table.

"What should I bring? Do the kids like pasta salad?" She hadn't made anything in a while. The idea of being domestic was surprisingly appealing to her. She was glad for the chance to get out for a while.

"Whatever you want. You don't have to bring anything, though. You're a guest, but pasta salad would be fine, Liv." He scooted the chair in and held up the pot of coffee. After she shook her head, he poured the rest out.

"Great. That sounds like fun. Thank you, Elliot." She smiled, letting her teeth show.

"You should smile more." He loved seeing her relax. The fact that she could in all that was happening with her boyfriend was a wonder to him. He'd take it, though.

"Yeah, well…"She let her voice trail off. She got up from the table and stared down at her cast. Frowning, she glanced around the room.

"If you want something to cover that up with so you can take a shower, I was thinking you could use a bag or something. I'll tape it across your fingers at the top so the water doesn't get in. The bottom should be pretty easy. You ever do the routine one-handed?" He got out a bag and some tape from the drawer and motioned for her hand.

"First time for everything. I'm so glad they didn't give me pink. It'd be hard to be the bad-ass cop with a bubble gum-colored cast." She watched him expertly tear the bag down one side and wrap it around her wrist. He folded the top and taped it just above where her cast started and applied the tape. She turned her hand over so he could tape the other side.

"I've noticed you're not that crazy about pink. What don't you like about it? That it's girly?" He pressed the bag so it was tight around her arm and taped the bottom. He hadn't thought about the removal process. The hair on her arm would make it less than pleasant to get the tape off, he thought.

"I just don't care for it. As a kid, I was never into floral prints or colors that should be assigned to every girl on the face of the planet. I liked to do my own thing. My favorite color has always been blue. I wear other colors, but I like blue. I don't believe in pink." She smiled at his expression.

"You don't believe in pink? What does that even mean?" He chuckled and watched her find a way to explain.

"Okay, well, I had this thing when I was in my twenties. I don't know. I was shopping with a classmate and we were going around telling each other what would look good on the other person. She had this bright pink top that would have just lit up the room, had there been a black light. Think eighties. Hot pink. I hated the color and I told her I didn't believe in it. I guess anything I didn't like, I didn't believe in. That doesn't make sense, does it?" She shook her head and felt her face grow hot.

"Sometimes I don't know about you, Liv. No need to be embarrassed. I've never heard anyone put it that way, that's all. It's interesting. It's you." It was like her to come up with something like that. She always was a little goofy. Then again, he'd never been accused of being ultra hip. They balanced each other out, he thought.

"I'm weird. Tell me something I don't know. I'm going to shower. Thanks for the wrap job and the coffee." She left the kitchen, leaving him to shake his head.

Olivia emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later with a towel wrapped around her waist. She held it tightly with her good hand and shivered as she was met with a blast of cold air from the hallway. She noticed Elliot's light was on in his room and tapped on the door before adjusting the towel. She heard a muffled response before the door finally opened.

"Sorry. I was just finishing up. Do you need something to wear?" He'd never seen her in a towel before.

"Yeah. I didn't think about that before I went in there. Sorry. This is awkward, huh?" She blushed, wondering what was going through his mind.

"A little. I've got some shorts, sweats, track pants. I think they'll fit you. I've got a t-shirt in there somewhere. I'm kind of running out of clean clothes, though. If you need socks, you're on your own." He held the door open so she could come in and went to retrieve an outfit." He rifled through the drawers and pulled out the mentioned items.

"Thanks. Those will work." She pointed to the track pants he pulled out and took the t-shirt from him.

"Not a problem. Get back in there, you're freezing." He watched her walk away and adjusted the thermostat. He pulled out his socks and shoes and finished his morning routine with the news in the background.

"Thanks again. I'll be sure to wash them so you won't have as much to wash. Can you help me pull the tape off?" She held out her arm and closed her eyes, preparing herself for the sting.

"On three. One, two…" He pulled it off in one quick motion and winced as she cursed him.

"I thought you said on three? Now my arm is going to be red all day." She rubbed the spot on her arm where the tape had been.

"I knew if you were expecting it, it would be worse. It's all about psychology. Sorry about the tape. I didn't take that into consideration. Do you want some lotion or something?" He tossed her a bottle of Jergens one of the girls had left over and watched her apply it.

"Thanks. You ready to head?" She watched him turn off the television and nod.

"Do you need me to drop you off so you can get your clothes?" He followed her out of the room and grabbed his keys from the table.

"I should be fine. You don't need to go all the way over there. I have some clothes at the precinct. I don't have much in the way of makeup, though. The guys will have to see me without foundation. All I have is powder." She walked into the hallway and moved aside so he could lock the door.

"You look fine, Liv. So, what are we doing about Adam? I don't mind if you stay over, but I really think we need to deal with him. Do you know where he lives?" He walked down the steps of his apartment and unlocked the door to the car.

"I've never been there. To tell you the truth, I didn't want to be alone at his place. Most of the time, he came over to mine. A couple weeks ago his car broke down and he had to take the subway back home. I remember him saying he had to take the L train, so it must have been in Brooklyn." She I should have paid more attention, but I knew I wasn't going over there, so it didn't matter, at the time. She got in and latched the seat belt.

"I hate to be paranoid, but I bet he's got a file. Run a check on him and see if he has a last known address. We'll go from there. Do you have your pills? I was reading the information, and it should be alright to take one when you're at work." He looked into his rear-view mirror and glared. Damn tailgaters.

"As long as I'm not loopy. I can't even take cold medicine without getting loopy." She noticed his expression and looked into the side mirror.

"That's probably just as well. I hate taking stuff. I'd rather suffer." He shifted in his seat and resisted the urge to tap the brakes.

"You mean you'd rather us suffer. The last time you refused to take something, we all ended up sick because you'd rather ride it out, as you put it at the time." She did air quotes.

"Yeah, yeah." He watched her pull out the pill bottle and shake out one before closing the cap. He grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to her.

"Thanks. You sure you don't need it?" She downed a pill and wiped her hand with the back of her mouth.

"Nah. Let me grab a drink and you can have the rest. Is your wrist hurting a lot?" He took a few gulps and set the bottle back down.

"Throbbing, actually. I don't want it to get unbearable." She looked in the mirror again as he turned the corner.

"Well, don't overdo it. We're going to be on our asses again, I can already feel it. I wonder if CSU came up with anything." He followed her gaze and looked into the mirror again.

"I hope so. If they did, then we can canvass the neighborhood around the warehouse. Maybe someone saw something. We sure as hell aren't going to get anything from the precinct over there." She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Doesn't matter. All the names he gave me were useless. No one checked out." He pulled up to a red light and turned his blinker on. The car behind followed. He craned his neck around in his seat.

"Asshole has been riding us the whole way here. Why is he turning here?" She glanced at the station and then turned around in her seat. She knew the answer already. She whipped her head back around and ducked in her seat.

"I don't kn…what?" He turned his attention back onto the light as it changed, all the while glancing at his partner.

"Elliot, that's Adam's car. He followed us here. To the precinct. Who does that?" She had no idea he was that serious. She had a sinking feeling that she had misjudged him all along, and that her instincts had been right on the money. Damn.

"Him, apparently. He's either got some balls, he's stupid, or he's that crazy. I hope it's not the latter, because it's too early in the morning to be dealing with some psycho." He pulled into the lot and looked over to see the car pass by. It kept going, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, this could be bad if he shows up there. Elliot, I can't afford for him to cause a scene. What should I do?" She got out of the car and waited for him to join her.

"I think you need to tell the Captain about this. That's twice he's followed us, Liv. It's beyond coincidence now. Give him a head's up. What's done is done. He doesn't hold grudges. We've all been frustrated as hell a time or two. He won't hold what happened yesterday against you. Just go in there and tell him what's up. Want me to go in with you?" He opened the door for her and followed her through.

"No. I'll be fine. You're right, though. I'm sure he's fine with everything. I do owe him an apology." She rapped lightly on the door before entering.

"The person I want to see. Close the door." He waited until the door had shut before getting up.

"Well, I was going to discuss something with you, but something tells me that is going to wait. What's going on?" She saw his tight expression. He was trying to keep his anger in check. She, most likely, was the cause.

"A week without pay and a write-up in your file. If you ever go against my orders again, there will further action taken. Damnit, Olivia, what were you two thinking?" He stared at her, feeling her fear. He hated being put in the position he was in.

"Wh…what? Look, I'm sorry. It was my fault we were even in the area. I take full responsibility." She stepped back against the door, giving her some space. She wasn't scared; she just wanted to distance herself from the situation.

"I told you to sit on your ass and what do you do? You get up and traipse around the city. You couldn't stop there. You had to go and make a scene. You're lucky I got you out of it, Benson, because the next time your ass will be in a sling and I will not do this again. Do I make myself clear?" He took a seat back at his desk.

"I apologize for my insubordination, but I don't know what you're talking about. Making a scene? When?" She leaned over his desk and shook her head. She had no idea what was going on.

"At the precinct. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Jesus, Olivia, throwing yourself at another officer? Do you know what that charge would have looked like on your permanent record?" He pulled a sheet of paper off the printer and slid over to her, none too gently. He watched her face take on a shocked expression.

"You're kidding me. Is this some kind of joke? I didn't do this, Captain. You've got to believe me. I'm guilty of going there after you said not to, but I didn't do this. Please tell me you believe me." She let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. She still had yet to change. She looked and felt like shit.

"This is a serious matter, Olivia. There were witnesses. I can't let this go unnoticed, dropped charges or not." He saw her eyes well up, but she remained stoic. He felt guilty for unloading on her, but he had a reputation to uphold. He couldn't play favorites.

"What witnesses? The door was closed. I'm sorry, but does witness not mean that you saw it, personally? I must have a different definition. I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!" She slapped her hand on the desk and stood. She was desperate. Her career flashed before her eyes.

"You're lucky you aren't suspended. I suggest you stop before you get yourself in trouble further. Get changed and go to work." He motioned to the door and watched her leave. He thought he could trust her, that he knew her.

Olivia resisted the urge to slam the door. She stalked past Elliot and stomped into the locker room. She yanked open the door and changed her clothes before slamming it shut again. She wasn't going anywhere for a week. Screw it, she thought. She couldn't care less that she had no makeup on. She pushed open the locker room door and walked out into the bullpen. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so angry.

"Shit. Son of a bitch!" She rested her forearm on the wall and leaned her head on her cast.

"What happened in there? Did he give you a detail?" Elliot gently grabbed her hand turned her body to face him.

"No. We didn't get that far. You want to know why?" She was seething.

"Maybe we should sit down. Come on." He led her to her desk and sat her down before sitting on the edge. He saw Fin and Munch watching them out of the corner of his eye.

"That asshole Jackson went to his superiors and told them I threw myself at him. Oh, and it gets better. A week without pay. I can't afford that. My rent is due. I need to pay for my metro card. This can't happen to me. Elliot, Cragen put it in my file. I'm going to lose my job, I just know it." She groaned and rubbed her temples with her fingertips.

"Whoa. Slow down, Liv." He saw John and Fin approaching and leaned in to rub her back.

"Cragen left to follow up with the DA. Lay it on us. What are we missing here?" John stood next to Olivia and took in her appearance. She was a wreck. Seeing she wasn't going to talk, he waited for Elliot to fill them in.

"Some asshole got his hands on her yesterday when we were looking into the warehouse thing. Now he's claiming she came onto him. Jackass can't get any so he takes it out on her." He couldn't believe Cragen would believe such a thing.

"That's bullshit. You wouldn't do anything like that. Is that guy pressing charges, Olivia?" Fin walked up behind John. All eyes were on their friend.

"No. I should be so lucky, but captain is still looking into it. He said Jackson had witnesses, Elliot. Who the hell is he talking about?" She got up again and started pacing the room.

"He's probably just making shit up, Liv. You know I have your back. If it comes to it, bring the desk sergeant into the mix. Don't you think his little comment was suggestive to this guy having issues?" He stepped in front of her and grabbed a pen she'd gotten a hold of. The incessant clicking was driving him crazy.

"Shit, I don't know. I can't lose my job." She leaned against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

"You won't lose your job. We'll vouch for you, Liv. You have an impeccable reputation. The powers that be are bound to see that. The fact that you aren't even suspended says something. Do you need some money?" John went back to his desk and grabbed his wallet.

"No, I'm just freaking out. I have some tax money if I need it. Thanks anyway, John. Look, I'm going to get some air. Come get me when Warren gets here. I need to do something productive." The minute she was greeted with fresh air, she took a deep breath. What was she going to do?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I apologize for the delay between posts. My muse took a vacation. The neighbors I've been borrowing my internet signal from are having issues. Consequently, I no longer have the capability of updating these stories on the computer my stories are on. At any rate, I have it worked out. Again, sorry for the delay. 

This is not a chapter for the kiddies. It is a little dark. You have been forewarned. The rating on this story has been updated, accordingly.

"You know, I heard once that if you dropped a penny from really high up, by the time it got to the bottom it would have picked up enough speed to kill a person." Elliot walked up behind Olivia and looked out over the ledge.

"I can think of a couple people I'd like to be standing there when I drop it." Olivia turned to face him, noticing his concerned expression.

"Jackson. The other one?" He narrowly missed planting his hand on a patch of bird poop. He wiped his hands on his pants, nonetheless.

"Cragen. I've put in too many years here to have him doubt me now. The kind of people we put away…how could he think I could do something like that? I hope to God I never see that look on his face again. He was disgusted, Elliot. As if I would even for a second, think of doing something like that to anyone. He should have believed me. I am not a…" She shivered in the warm, summer sun. She'd been left alone for too long. Her thoughts had wandered to the darkest nooks and crannies of her mind. Places she'd gone before but somehow had been steered away from in the past.

"A what? Say it, Liv, because if you don't recognize what you're about to say then you're lying to yourself, either way. Do you really think you have it in you to do something like that? I know you. Don't you know yourself?" He placed his palm on her shoulder and squeezed. Her muscles were rock hard under his touch.

"A rapist. Okay, a rapist. I just… I see all the looks people give me when they find out. Pity. Shock. Horror. Behind it all, I know they're afraid. Why do you think you and Cragen were the only ones who knew? If people find out, I'm done, Elliot. I'm done, and there's not a thing I can do about it. Like father, like daughter, right?" She closed her eyes, letting the sounds of the city block out her thoughts. She wondered, briefly, what people thought of the moment before they jumped. Maybe the honking horns and the diesel engines of the city buses weren't enough to keep them grounded. She laughed bitterly at the pun.

"Don't even go there, Liv. You said the charges were dropped. Maybe the guy just wanted to mess with you. How many times have I gotten into trouble with the Captain and gotten out of it? Too many to count; I'm still here, Liv. Besides, it sounds like it was Cragen's idea to investigate this. No one else has to know except whoever is in charge of it, and no matter how pissed off he is at you he isn't going to feed you to the wolves. No one is going to find out about Jackson. No one is going to find out about your father. It's been a secret this long." He saw her open her eyes slowly. It reminded him of someone who was just waking up and trying to determine what was reality or dream. In her case, a nightmare.

"I hope all of this is over soon. I don't know what's worse; watching my back because of Adam or watching my job because of Jackson. I don't even want to say his name. What'd I ever do to him?" She wrinkled her nose, disgusted at the mention of his name.

"Maybe the job is getting to him. Maybe he's a first class asshole. I do know that he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Right now what I want to know is why what Adam is doing following you. You coming down?" In the drama of the morning, he'd forgotten about Adam. Only briefly, though.

"Yeah. I'm coming down." Deep down, the situation with Adam was really bothering her. Sure, she should handle herself when it came to certain situations. She'd experienced men like Adam before, though, and they only escalate. She didn't want to be there when he did.

Elliot joined the guys in the squad room. They looked around him, searching for Olivia.

"How's Liv?" John frowned when he noticed she wasn't there.

"Frustrated. She'll be okay, though. Is Warner in yet?" Seeing them shake their heads, he grabbed the phone to dial the familiar number.

Olivia returned moments later and booted up her computer. She logged in and went through the familiar motions of looking up Adam's background. No hits. She tapped her fingernails on the keyboard. She typed it in again. Nothing. Frowning, she tried again with another spelling.

"Guess I don't have to ask what you found. What'd he say his last name was?" Elliot came up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"Donetti. I tried one 't', then two. Nothing. Damn." She sat back in her chair and stared at the screen.

"Either he doesn't have a record, or he's not exactly who he says he is. Whichever you want to believe is up to you, but my gut tells me this guy isn't going to give up. Check your cell." He nodded toward her drawer and watched her flip it open.

"Four calls. I'm not sure who from, though. All different numbers." She went into her voice mail. The first message sent a chill down her spine. The second made her nauseous. The third made her dizzy. The fourth…she held a hand up to her mouth, taking it all in.

"Give me the phone." Elliot grabbed the phone from her hands. He repeated what Olivia had just done and closed the phone. He then set the phone on his desk. He dared Adam to call.

"Uh…so, what'd Warner say?" Olivia cleared her throat and tried to remain calm. Someone had to be. Elliot was on the verge of tearing someone apart, and she had an idea who that would be.

"Wasn't there. Don't change the subject. This is serious, Olivia. The guy threatened you. We're telling Cragen when he gets back." He grabbed the phone before Olivia could steal it off of his desk.

"We? Elliot, don't. I don't want to talk to him right now. Just let it be. I seriously doubt he's going to care about anything I have to say, anyway. Besides, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I'm on ass duty for the rest of the week. For free, I might add." She swiped at the phone again before giving up. Once Elliot had an idea in his head, he wasn't letting it go for anything.

"If he calls again, I'm going to get that number traced and bring his ass down here for threatening you. Not to mention stalking." He wasn't about to let Adam get away with what he'd done. The things he said were repulsive.

"He's probably calling from a pay phone; that way I don't recognize the number. I'll try Warner again." She cradled the phone between her shoulder and ear and dialed. After three rings, she got an answer. A few minutes later, she hung up the phone, triumphantly.

"We may have a lead. Warner said the DNA off the milk bottle you found was a match to a Richard Schuster. Guy has a rap sheet a mile long. Guess what his most recent offense was." She twirled clicked the pen on her desk.

"Gee, could it be child pornography?" He grinned as Olivia nodded her head.

"That's not all. Seems Mr. Schuster took a liking to his girlfriend's eight year-old daughter. Mom put a stop to it and took off. The charges were dropped but her name is still on record. Cynthia Morris." She typed the name into her computer and pulled up the address before printing it off. She handed it over, reluctantly. She wouldn't be able to hit the streets. Finally, a lead and she was stuck on the sidelines. Just great.

"Sorry, Liv. I'll let you know how it goes." He folded the paper in half and took off, leaving Olivia behind.

"New lead on your warehouse perp?" Munch had been watching from his desk and came over to join Olivia.

"Yeah. I should be happy, right? I wish I wasn't stuck here." She crossed her arms, defiantly. She really hated her situation.

"Ah, I'm wounded! Well, we'll be out of your hair the rest of the day. Now it's our turn to go traipsing all over Manhattan. Keep your head up, Liv. The thing with Cragen, it'll blow over. It always does." He gave her a pat on the back before he and Fin left.

"Well, fine." She eyed her cell phone that sat on Elliot's desk. She jumped when it started ringing. She took a deep breath before accepting the call.

"I see you're alone. Too bad you're stuck all alone, Olivia." Adam's voice was raspy and thick.

"What do you want, Adam? Just tell me and get it over with." She sighed, preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have.

"I just want you, Olivia. It's not nice to keep me waiting. I've been patient with you, but you just don't seem to get it. I guess I'll have to spell it out for you." He sneered at her silence. Clearly, the call earlier had spooked her.

"Waiting? I never asked you to wait. I want nothing to do with you, Adam. I want my key back and I want you out of my life. You need help and I can't give it to you." She got up from her chair and paced the room. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she turned around.

"Oh, on the contrary. You are going to help me out quite a bit." Adam closed the phone and gave her a sickening grin.

"What are you doing here? Just leave now. It's over, Adam. We're two different people. It didn't work out. Just accept that." She backed away as he stepped toward her. The look in his eyes scared her.

"What am I doing here? I'm taking what's mine, and since your little boyfriend is no longer here, we'll have plenty of time to have some fun." He stepped closer this time and laughed as her back hit the wall.

"He's not my boyfriend, Adam. He's my partner, and who I hang out with is none of your business. We're over, you sick bastard." She knew she was pushing his buttons. She realized too late that she'd gone too far. She felt his breath on her skin and turned her face away, only to have her jaw grabbed forcefully until she was looking at him once again. She struggled to get away, only to be pushed to the ground. He straddled her, pinning her hands beneath her. Phone still in hand, she tried desperately to feel around for the right keys. She hoped she was hitting the right ones. She held the phone to her body to muffle any sound that would alert Adam to what she was doing.

"It's too bad about that harassment charge. You shouldn't mess with people like that. It can be bad for your reputation. Then again, you already know that." He snickered and tried to pull her arms out. He flipped her over and saw her phone slide across the floor.

"Adam, don't do this." She was above begging. She'd never be reduced to such a thing. She hoped the call went through and that someone would hurry. She cursed the timing of it all. She realized Adam had planned it that way, though. He'd waited for the guys to leave. The way he brought up Jackson, he must have known she'd been stuck at the station.

"Time to go, Olivia." He pinned her injured wrist to the floor as he slid his other hand down her side. He felt her flinch under his touch and grinned. He slid his hand down further until he felt the cool metal of her cuffs. He put one around her wrist and the other on his, effectively locking them together.

"Look, someone's going to be back any minute. You'll get caught. You know what happens when you mess with a cop? You get the needle." She could feel the blood coursing through her veins. She was scared but she didn't dare show it. Her resolve was fleeting, though. It was a matter of time before it broke.

"Who's going to save you, Olivia? I'm your boyfriend. Now put on a good show." He pulled her up and kissed her roughly while his hand roamed downward. He felt her straining to hold him off and it only made him more excited.

"What the hell is going on here?" Cragen walked into the squad room, amazed at the sight before him. He took in Olivia's expression and followed her frightened eyes to where the stranger he'd never seen before had laid his hand. The man squeezed, making her whimper. He balled his hand up in a fist, ready to strike.

"I don't think so, old man." Adam released his hold and pulled a knife from the back pocket of his pants . He opened it and held the blade to Olivia's neck. The situation had just gotten worse.

"Go lock the door. You have ten seconds and if you're late, you're going to have a mess all over your floor. Do it. Now!" Adam yanked on his cuffed hand, pointing toward the door. He saw Cragen hesitate a moment before doing what he was told. Panting and out of breath, Cragen returned.

"Look, I don't know who you are but let's work this out. No one has to get hurt. Just let Detective Benson go." Cragen immediately felt a sense of guilt wash over him to a degree he'd never known. He'd verbally reamed out one of his best detectives and now that same detective was, possibly, living the last moments of her short lifetime.

"No, I don't think so. We're going to do this my way. You see, I've been waiting around for her to come to me. I begged her for a chance but she was too fucking good. Weren't you? Now it's your turn to beg, and he's going to watch." He shoved her against the desk and bent her over the hard surface. He reached inside her pocket and grabbed her key ring. Having changed his plans, he no longer needed the connection. He was about to be joined with her in a different way.

"Sir, you don't want to do this. Let her go. I'm sure this is a misunderstanding." Cragen had never felt so helpless in his life. His hands were sweaty and reached for his side arm.

"Give me your gun. I know you won't do anything stupid, but do it anyway. I'm in charge here, in case you haven't noticed." Adam motioned for the gun.

"Don, don't give it to him. Adam, let him go, okay? He didn't do anything to you. This is between us." She wished reinforcements would show up. She wasn't sure how long Adam would wait until he got what he wanted. She saw Cragen raise his hands up in surrender, his gun in one. He handed it over and stepped back once again. She knew he was scared for her. Hell, she was scared enough for both of them.

"There, you have it. The ball's in your court. What do you want? Tell me and we can work something out." Cragen took one look into Olivia's eyes and saw defeat. He never wanted to see that look. Not on her.

"Damn right it's in my court. Put these on. That pipe will do. Any funny business and she pays." He pointed the gun at Olivia and tossed the cuffs to Cragen. He watched the older man and laughed. The shame was eating him up. After Adam was satisfied that Cragen wouldn't be a problem, he turned his attention back to Olivia. He set the gun and knife down onto a chair beside the desk. Now it began.

"Adam, don't. Don't do this." She knew it the moment she saw the fire in his eyes. She'd seen that look before. The breath escaped her throat in short bursts as Adam's weight pinned her to the desk. He was too heavy for her. She felt his hands fumbling with the clasp on her pants. She bucked her hips, struggling to throw him off, but it was no use. She whimpered when she heard the zipper slide down. Within seconds, she felt the rush of cold air on her skin. She closed her legs. She wasn't going to let him do it without a fight. This time, she wasn't giving in.

"Shut up. You had your chance to talk. I came by your place. I called you. You had your chance." Adam placed his leg between hers and slowly slid her panties down, enjoying the look of terror on her face. He reached down and shed his sweat pants and boxers before leaning over her, resting his entire weight on Olivia's body. He ran his hand up her shirt and squeezed her breasts painfully, his hands kneading the flesh between his fingers. Flesh he hadn't had the liberty of touching for quite some time.

"Get your hands off her now!" Cragen began pulling on the cuffs, desperate to help her. He'd never be able to live with himself if he was the cause of this. He was responsible for her being there. He should have just believed her. He never should have questioned her.

"Get ready baby. Get nice and ready for me, because I'm going to fuck you dry." Adam shoved two fingers into his ex-lover. He expected her to scream. She merely bit her lip. He'd gone to bed at night with the image in his head. The one where she had her eyes closed, her body splayed out on the bed while his hands roamed over her skin. After he was done, he'd convince her to let him get his frustrations out. She'd always let him. Sometimes it took longer to persuade her, but she always gave in. Her mind said no, but her body said yes.

He continued groping her with one hand while his fingers abused her with his other. He grunted, putting every ounce of effort into it that he could. His fingers grew slick and they felt wet with each pass. He felt himself getting hard and he pulled them out. He positioned himself, ready take over where they left off. He started to count in his head. She deserved a little time to prepare. After all, she'd been a good lay before. Not exactly ready and willing, but she got the job done and she was good. He was about to experience that again, when he heard the sound of footsteps falling. He jerked his head to the side and cursed. He dove for the gun but was too late.

"Get the fuck away from her, you sick bastard." Elliot held his gun. His aim was surprisingly steady. The hold on his emotions was waning. He couldn't afford to lose his cool. He had to focus on Olivia. He kept his gun trained on Adam while he undid the cuffs and gave Cragen back his gun. He was now in charge.

Cragen charged Adam as he tried to get away. Fueled by anger, he tackled Adam and quickly cuffed the man before pulling him up and leading him away from his detectives and into the nearest interrogation room. He gave the detectives a moment to themselves before returning.

"Cragen's coming back." Elliot shed his jacket and held it in front of him so Olivia could fix her clothing in privacy. His gaze was fixed on her face, waiting for the nod. Seeing the slight, up-and-down movement, he set the jacket down and went to her side.

"Are you okay, Olivia?" Cragen already knew the answer before he asked the question. It was a stupid thing to ask. She was savagely torn up and damn-near raped, and he was asking if she was okay. He saw her wince as she let Elliot help her off of the desk. She took one step before her face lost all its color.

"Stay right there. Help is on the way." Elliot had no idea what kind of shape she was in. He eased her back so she could lean against the desk.

"You got my call." She'd never been the praying kind, but she'd have to start. Elliot getting there in time had to be more than luck.

"Yeah. I almost hung up. I thought it was some prank. I hated to do it, but once I heard what was going on, I had to hang up to call the Captain. I was so scared I'd be late. He didn't….he didn't do it, did he? He didn't…." He couldn't say the word.

"No. He just…just…" She lost all ability to form the rest of her sentence. Her face grew red and she briefly locked eyes with Cragen before turning away in shame.

"He did what? You can tell me." He urged her to speak, to tell him what the hell Adam did to her.

"Don't make me say it, Elliot, please. He…he has my DNA on his hand." She begged him with her eyes, pleading for him to understand. His face grew a sickly shade of green and he simply nodded.

"I'll go wait outside for the bus." Cragen, feeling like a lot little boy, turned away. He'd left Adam in the interrogation room. He could do no more than wait around. He suddenly knew what it was like for Olivia. He knew how hard it was standing by, knowing something horrible was happening. Budget be damned, the next time she wanted to go gallivanting all over town, he'd let her. With nothing left to do, he walked carefully around the glass and opened the door. He'd have to get someone to fix it. It was the last thing on his list, though.


	5. Chapter 5

Fin tore through the squad room with Munch in tow. Both were seething. He stalked up to the captain, who was trying his best not to look like a kicked puppy.

"Thanks for coming." Cragen surveyed the squad room. A maintenance worker was cleaning the floor. He couldn't look at it any further; the evidence of what he'd seen. He ushered his confused detectives into his office and shut the door.

"What the hell happened here?" Munch got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when he'd been told to come. He wasn't sure who was involved; he had a feeling he didn't want to know.

"Olivia was attacked right after you guys left; by someone she apparently knew. She managed to get a hold of Elliot and he called me afterward. I came as fast as I could. The guy got pretty rough with her, though." Cragen spoke slowly, each word dripping with anger.

"Wait, what? We just saw her. How the hell does a cop get attacked in a police station?" Fin scowled and kneaded his closed fist with his hand.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. You were all on cases. No one else was around. How does this guy know Olivia? What's his story?" Cragen sat on the corner of his desk, not wanting any distance to come between him finding out what the hell was going on.

"I don't know much. Olivia said his name earlier. I think it was Adam. She and Elliot were looking him up but it didn't look like they got any hits. He must be going by something else. I'm sure he has a rap sheet. I'll check him out once they print him. The guy's been calling her, too. She was going to tell you this morning but with all that was going on…" He let the last word hang. It wasn't the time to point fingers.

"I still regret it but I had to do it. I didn't have a choice in that matter. I know you think I did, but I had to investigate it." Cragen looked up at the ceiling as if he expected something to fall from the sky.

"Doesn't mean we have to like it. That Jackson was being a dick. He's the one who should be investigated. Now this other guy's in the picture. Is she okay?" It was the first time Fin had even thought of Olivia's condition. He was blinded by his own rage that the crimson droplets and handprints on the desk were from a victim. That victim was Olivia. Damn.

"Elliot called just before you got here. He said they just finished the initial exam. She's got a lot of deep tissue bruising and she'll be pretty sore for a while. Her hand is fine, though, the one she broke earlier. They put her out for the rest of the exam, though, to make her comfortable. I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out and tell you. He…he….damn. I'm afraid this is going to be one of our cases." He averted his gaze to the sight just outside his window. He watched the words sink in and both of his detectives paled instantly.

"Oh, Liv." It was all Munch could say. He shook his head and closed his eyes so the moisture wouldn't show.

"Look, I've got to get this place back in some sort of working order. If you go up there, tell her I'll check in once I've got this wrapped up." Cragen knew John had no idea he'd witnessed the assault. He wasn't in any kind of mood to say anything about it, though." He opened the door and watched his detectives walk out and into the bullpen.

John dropped his head and brought a hand up to his face. He took one look at the caution tape surrounding the squad room and let out a sickened laugh. Caution against what? The unthinkable had already happened.

ooo

Elliot sat out in the hallway, waiting on Olivia to be moved to her room. He looked up to see her being wheeled in his direction. He pushed off the bench and stood awkwardly. He looked into the room while they got her situated. The nurses left the room, and the doctor's back was to Elliot. He couldn't tell what was being said but he could just barely see Olivia's slight nod. She was coherent enough to make conversation. He observed the two from a distance before seeing the doctor motion him in.

"Detective Stabler, come in. I was just leaving. I'll see you later, Olivia. Get some rest." Dr. Peterson waved to the detectives before leaving.

"Hey." He saw her fighting the urge to go back to sleep. A million thoughts went through his mind. An apology for not being there sooner, for not having prevented it in the first place. A question of her condition, although he knew it was silly to ask. A fear that what happened would break her beyond repair. A vow to bring justice to her so that she could live in peace. The need to be there for her stifled the distractions, allowing her to get his undivided attention.

"Can you hand me some water?" Olivia motioned to the pitcher on the tray beside the bed. She could see the condensation on the outside.

"Sure." Elliot poured a glass and watched her drink it slowly before setting it down.

"Thanks. How long have I been here? It feels like forever." She tried to put her game face on. She was still tired from the sedatives and she felt vulnerable.

"A couple hours. Do you need me to get you anything else?" He saw her shiver and looked around for a blanket. He spotted one folded up on a chair and placed it over her, smoothing the edges when he was done.

"Thank you. It's like a deep freeze in here. Think I'm going to crash now. You don't have to stay. I won't be very good company." She tried to roll over on her side and winced. She grabbed the rail and cursed.

"Hey, take it easy. You have some stitches. I'll stay for a while. I don't have anywhere else to be. Besides, it's nothing new to talk to you and not have you answer." Elliot nudged her good hand and waited until she opened it so that he could hold it. He wanted to offer her every ounce of strength he had. He saw her grin and couldn't help but notice how even with her face contorted in pain, she could still light up a room with the faintest of smiles.

"I remember…now. That was stupid. Thanks." She eased her grip after several moments and plopped her head back down on the bed.

"You're welcome. Do you need anything for the pain?" He was concerned that she'd just been checked out and was hurting. Surely they would have her doped up

"I think I'll just sleep it off. Thanks, though." She rested her hand on the bed and closed her eyes. She felt him take her hand once again. She squeezed lightly, already drifting off to sleep.

ooo

The next time Olivia woke it was dark outside. She fumbled for the light switch and flinched when a hand caught hers.

"I'm sorry, Olivia, it's just me. I didn't mean to startle you." Cragen pulled back and let her push the button

"Captain?" Olivia hadn't yet begun to think of what she would say to him when she saw him. She was beyond embarrassed and still feeling the effects of his reaming from earlier.

"Yeah. I sent Elliot home. Fin and Munch stopped by, too. They said to tell you hi. They didn't want to wake you. Do you need anything?" Cragen sat back down in his chair and studied her features. She seemed withdrawn, as if she felt guilty. He saw something else, too. Fear. Was she afraid of him? Did she honestly think he hadn't tried to stop it? Was it shame?

"Maybe some water. My throat is still dry." Olivia took the offered cup of water and sipped slowly, letting the tepid water ease her parched throat.

"The nurses will be here in a bit to check on you. They said you were last on their list. That way you could sleep. Do you need anything for the pain?" Cragen couldn't help but notice her wince as she shifted on the bed.

"Actually, yeah. I could use something if you don't mind flagging someone down. If they're not going to be long, don't worry about it." Olivia felt the burning and closed her legs, willing it to cease. She bit her lip and hissed through her teeth, unable to find a comfortable position.

"I'll go check. Be right back. Sit tight." Cragen couldn't get up fast enough and in moments he returned with the nurse trying her best to keep up.

"Alright, Miss Benson, I'm just going to give you something to take the edge off. I don't want to give you anything too strong. You'll feel a lot better in a bit, just give it time to work. I'll come back in a half hour to examine you." The nurse emptied her syringe into the port slowly before jotting down the necessary information.

"Thank you. When can I leave?" Olivia felt the fog overtake her brain again and she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

"Sometime tomorrow after the doctor makes his rounds. He'll want to make sure you're progressing nicely and that you're healing. You had a bit of a temperature so we're monitoring that, as well. He starts his rounds at noon, but no promises. He doesn't believe in discharging patients until the last possible minute. Let me know if you need anything else." The nurse left Olivia alone and glanced at her watch, a subtle sign that it was almost time for Cragen to leave.

"Damn. I hate losing it. Sorry." Olivia wiped a tear from her eye as the day's events caught up with her fully. There was something about the night that made the cold, dark world so hard to bear.

"No need to apologize. I believe I owe you an apology, though. I overreacted and I'm sorry. I had to investigate the incident with Jackson. Consider it closed. I uh…I feel like I'm partly to blame, here. I keep going over our conversation in my head. If I had handled it better, you would have been able to tell me about this Adam guy. You don't know how sorry I am." Cragen could still see her bruised body, fighting to break free from that monster. He still heard her silent pleas for him to help her.

"I know you did what you had to do. I don't blame you, Captain. I was angry at the time that you didn't trust me. That you didn't believe in me. That wasn't me, Don. I'm not that kind of person. I…I wish I could go back to yesterday, you know? I would have trusted my gut instincts." Olivia let her words linger. Neither spoke until Cragen cleared his throat, buying him a few more seconds.

"Olivia, you don't have to convince me of anything. It's over and done with. Let's move on. Concentrate on getting back on your feet. We have Adam, a.k.a Timothy Sharp in custody for what he did. He won't see the light of day anytime soon. I'll see to that. And you are not to blame. We see this kind of thing all the time. This time was no different than what we've seen in the past. You've never blamed the victim. Don't start by blaming yourself." Cragen watched Olivia fight sleep and regretted bringing it up at all. He hoped she'd sleep peacefully.

"Thanks. I can't really think clearly right now. I'm so tired." Olivia yawned and closed her eyes to block out the light. She heard his footsteps as he reached over and pushed the button for her.

"Why don't you get some rest? I'm about to be kicked out. Fin and Munch are on your case starting tomorrow. Elliot said he was going to try and stop by in the morning. Get some sleep, Olivia. You did good." He saw her nod and finally give in to the sleep that so desperately wanted to take over her body. He observed her for a bit before leaving. It wasn't until he made the slow, lonely trek to his car that he let the tears fall.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I wrote this part a while ago. I've gone back to it several times and I think I'll leave it, as is. It's a little short, but I think it's fitting. Thanks for the great reviews!

_Everything changes if I could  
turn back the years if you could  
learn to forgive me then I could  
learn how to feel_

Elliot propped his feet up on the coffee table and put his hands behind his neck. The whole thing seemed like a nightmare, to him, and he wished someone would wake him up. Instead, he was left with the images of when he had found her. The look in her eyes had reflected the shame and humiliation of the compromising position she had been in. The small trickle of blood that ran down her chin had told of the battle she'd waged in trying not to cry. Most of all he remembered where that monster's hands had been when he'd found them. He wasn't supposed to see her that way. She was Olivia. That part of her was off limits to him. To anyone but with whomever she shared her personal life. He hated that at some point it had been that filthy excuse of a human being. After he'd gotten her out from under the guy, all he could do was grant her the little scrap of dignity she had left by shielding her. It was the least he could do, at the time. It was what he should have done, because he was her partner.

It had been an accident scene. The scene he'd pass on the freeway that he couldn't not look at. He'd go by it and make every effort to look away but a part of him still glanced over even if for a second. He'd look into his rearview mirror, feeling guilty that he'd even looked at all. When he'd gotten there and he'd seen the broken glass his senses had been put on the highest level of alert he knew. He'd seen her first. She was who he was looking for and the moment he saw what was going on he froze. The bastard had gotten a few more in by the time Elliot had gotten past Cragen. He'd looked away just for a moment to see if the older man was okay. A millisecond later, he thought, he looked back to see that it was about to happen. His strides became longer and he reached out and grabbed the man with the tips of his fingers. It would have made any first baseman proud. It wasn't a game, though, it was life.

He pulled his feet of the table and stood up. The pent up anger and frustration he'd been feeling was behind the powerful kick that sent the table careening into the wall. He heard the leg snap and stalked over to it to inflict further damage. He stood there panting, wishing what he'd just done had somehow made something better. He'd settle for anything. He felt so out of control at that moment. He hadn't even gone to visit her. Cragen had, though, admirably.

It had been twenty four hours. He knew that because he kept flipping through the calls on his phone and each time he came to hers his heart stopped beating. His hands started shaking and by the sixth time the phone had met its demise. The date stamp stuck in his mind, though. It burned into his memory and he couldn't shake it. It was the time he'd let her get raped. The time his world stopped. No matter how fast he'd driven he hadn't gotten there in time. He sank to his knees and bent over with his face nearly touching the floor. He heard the sound of a wounded animal and realized it was coming from him. He breathed heavily. Saliva dripped onto the hardwood floor and mixed with his tears. He was a mess in every sense of the word. He heard the door over the sound of his raspy breathing and looked over slowly. He braced his hands on the floor and stood. As he approached the door, he pulled his t-shirt up and wiped his face before letting it fall once more. He peered out peep hole and there she was. Methodically, he turned the deadbolt, twisted the knob and pulled the door open.

She and Elliot had been given a week off. A week to think about what had happened. A week to feel guilty about handing over their case. She could barely sit, let alone walk. Thankfully, the elevator had been fixed. She'd given him the time she felt he needed. She didn't blame him for not coming to the hospital again. She didn't want to be there either. She'd called up Cragen and took him up on his offer to take her over. She promised to get back home safely. She heard the locks disengage. When the door opened, she stepped past him and took in her surroundings. It was the reason she'd come over. The living room looked to be on the verge of being torn apart. She knew Elliot had taken it hard. She stood in front of him as he fought to reclaim his errant emotions. Her breath stilled as she saw his bloodshot eyes. She reached out and touched the side of his face with her cast. With her thumb, she brushed aside the tears that hadn't been absorbed by his shirt. She pressed her forehead against his and felt his hand snake up and around the back of her neck.

He ran a hand through her hair and pulled her gently until her chest was touching his. A sharp intake of breath reminded him of the bruises that peppered the skin underneath her shirt. He could still see those hands and the pain they were inflicting upon her. He whispered an apology for having hurt her. Again.

Shaking her head, she pushed away slowly and put a hand on his chest. With her fingertips, she forced his jaw upward until he was looking her in the eyes. She searched her soul for all the right words to make his never-ending guilt go away. She said the three words that he needed to hear the most.

He was forgiven. God almighty, he was forgiven and his strength was renewed and not a moment too soon. In that instant, the moment he'd taken control, she lost hers. He watched her lip begin to tremble. The closing of her eyes signaled the release of emotion. Bracing himself, he inched closer and wrapped his arms around her as tightly as could without hurting her. He felt her slowly start to sink to the floor and took her into his arms. He carried her to his bedroom and bent down to lay her on be bed. He could feel the hold she had around his neck, the grip that would not release. He slid his hands behind her back and rolled onto his side, taking her with him.

The dam had broken and she was left to cling to him; to save her from the raging waters. It was as if her life depended upon her holding onto him. She kept repeating the mantra of 'oh, god' repeatedly. She needed him there at the hospital and as much as she understood why he wasn't, she needed him. She was the strong one while he needed her. Then and there in a fleeting moment, she felt her strength ebb and fought but to no avail. She felt herself falling and just when she expected to reach the ground, he caught her.

They spoke in hushed tones. Each time she spoke, he matched her with his words of comfort. He told her that he had her and wouldn't let her go. He promised her it would be okay, although he didn't know how or when. With soothing tones, he told her that it was okay to cry. And she did.

She cried for the innocence she lost. She cried for pain she felt each time she pulled him a little closer just so that she would feel his presence. She cried for the many times they'd disagreed but somehow found the right thing to say or do to make it all better. And she cried for the little kids that were out there being victimized while she was struggling to pull herself together.

Elliot felt the hold on him grow slack and pulled back a little. He watched her face grow less tense. He let out a breath he'd been holding since it happened. He saw her relax under his gaze. He held her into the night, keeping her demons at bay. He made a silent vow to treat her better. He couldn't go another day fighting and arguing. They needed each other and no matter how many times they went round-and-round, they always ended up back at each other. He lay his head down beside hers and stared at her as she slept. Millions of things ran through his mind, but one settled in the foreground. He was madly in love with her. Love was not a game, though. It was life. It was their partnership on a whole new level, and he was determined not to screw it up the way he had in the past. He closed his eyes and let sleep take over him. The rest of the world fell away as they slept.


End file.
